What did Donald Trump do today?

He retreated deeper into paranoia about "threats" against him, this time from seashells.

A day after Trump's meltdown where he said that a late-night comedian's joke about his poor marital and physical health on Thursday somehow incited the security breach at the WHCD on Saturday, his administration found a new way to paint him as the victim of "threats": by indicting a political opponent for writing numbers with seashells.

Former FBI director James Comey posted this picture of seashells spelling out "86 47" to his Instagram account last May. "86" is American slang dating back to the 1930s meaning "get rid of" or "cancel" or "undo." It was usually used in the context of the service industry: unruly patrons or unwanted orders could be "86'ed." 47, of course, refers to Trump, who often calls himself by the number of his presidential term.

The indictment today claims that by spelling out numbers meaning "get rid of Trump" or "undo Trump's presidency," Comey was threatening Trump's life. It did not specify whether the Trump administration considers the use of seashells to do this as an aggravating factor.

It does, however, say with a straight face that by spelling out these numbers, Comey "did knowingly and willfully make a threat to take the life of, and to inflict bodily harm upon, the President of the United States."

There's no love lost between Comey and Trump, which might explain why Comey—like a sizable majority of Americans—want Trump "86'ed" via impeachment or removal by the 25th Amendment. Trump fired former Comey during his first term after Comey repeatedly refused to pledge his personal loyalty to Trump, and in particular after Comey refused to back Trump's lie that Comey had exonerated him over his campaign's collusion with the Putin regime. (Lifelong Republican Comey, as well as a Republican special counsel and a Republican-led Senate committee, have all said that Trump did accept Russian help to influence the 2016 election.)

An earlier indictment against Comey for the same "crime" has already been thrown out, and the overwhelming consensus is that this will be laughed out of court as well, if it even makes it there. Social media today was full of screenshots of Republican politicians who had used the "86" term against their political opponents to zero controversy or criminal liability. 

Trump himself doesn't appear to have ever used the term in a political context, but he has, for example:

• called for his own Chairman of the Joint Chiefs to be executed 
• said that Rep. Liz Cheney (R-WY) should be shot
• posted social media images of Joe Biden being hogtied (among countless other images of violence against politicians he hates), as well as an AI slop video of him literally dumping shit on Americans from a plane.
• said that Hunter Biden should face the "death penalty" for tax evasion 

In fact, if seashell numbers count, it's almost easier to say who Trump hasn't committed or threatened violence against, a list that amounts to himself, certain world leaders he admires, and some (but not all) of his immediate family. 

Why does this matter?

• Making it illegal to suggest that the leader's time in office should ever end is basically square one for a dictatorship. 

• It's embarrassing for the most powerful man in the world to be this committed to playing the victim. 

• It is not, under any conceivable circumstance where the Constitution still protects Americans' right to free speech and to choose their own government, to say "86 47."
  
  
• 86 47. [—Ed.]

What did Donald Trump do today?

He demanded that someone who'd investigated his crimes be punished, this time in the private sector.

Trump continued his vendetta against anyone who tried to hold him to account for his criminal conduct after leaving office with a threat against Microsoft, demanding that they fire a recently hired executive. Lisa Monaco, Microsoft's newly appointed president of global affairs, is a former U.S. deputy attorney general and had helped investigate Trump's theft of classified documents and his attempts to overturn the results of the 2020 election.

Trump made the demand at the instigation of Laura Loomer, who tweeted shortly after Trump's post that she was the one who told him to do it. Loomer is a ultra-right-wing conspiracy theorist and podcaster who has a direct line to Trump, to the alarm of many others in his orbit.

In a lengthy rant posted to his private microblogging website, Trump called Monaco a "menace to National Security" and insisted that she be fired. This came on the same day that he gloated over having forced the Justice Department—over the explicit objections of line prosecutors, who saw no credible case—to bring charges against former FBI Director James Comey. (Comey, whose last-minute but fruitless investigation of Hillary Clinton's handling of classified material tipped the 2016 election to Trump, was summarily fired after refusing to pledge his personal loyalty to Trump.)

Microsoft has not responded publicly, but Trump's attempt to jawbone them into firing someone he regards as an enemy is part of a bigger pattern. Trump, who inherited a vast real estate fortune just as New York City property values were skyrocketing, never had much luck in his independent business ventures. Aside from his infamous accomplishment of going bankrupt in the casino business, he lost money—his and other people's—in a variety of ill-fated acquisitions and product launches ranging from airlines to mail-order steaks. 

But forcing private companies to act at his behest gives him a chance to play CEO with a safety net, which may be the appeal. In his second term alone he's extorted the United States' only major manufacturer of computer chips for 10% of its stock, tried to get Coca-Cola to change its recipe, forced US Steel to operate a plant at a loss, prematurely celebrated getting Jimmy Kimmel fired for making fun of Trump's exploitation of a murder for political gain, and—in a move paralleling today's ultimatum to Microsoft—demanded that investment bank Goldman Sachs fire an economist who'd pointed out the basic economic fact that American consumers are the ones who pay for tariffs.

Trump has also systematically fired almost everyone in the public service who investigated or prosecuted cases related to his attempt to lead an insurrection to overturn the 2020 election results. In today's blog post, Trump referred to that insurrection, which was broadcast live as it happened and involved thousands of participants that Trump himself pardoned on returning to office, as the "January 6 hoax."

Why does this matter?

• The government of the United States is supposed to serve the people, not settle Donald Trump's private scores. 

• Businesses should be run by people who are not famously, provably, hilariously bad at running businesses. 

• Trump is not a god and reality does not change itself just because he says something never happened.

What did Donald Trump do today?

He celebrated the chance to appoint an FBI director he thinks will be personally loyal to him… again.

Shortly after taking office in 2017, Trump demanded that then-FBI Director James Comey swear personal loyalty to him. Comey refused, and Trump fired him shortly thereafter. 

The firing was particularly urgent for Trump, because the FBI was conducting the investigation into Russia's interference on Trump's behalf in the 2016 election. In fact, the firing was so suspicious that the acting FBI Director immediately opened an obstruction of justice investigation into Trump. As a result, Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein appointed Robert Mueller as a special counsel to investigate exactly how much influence Russia had over the election—and over Trump.

This was the sequence of events that led to Trump appointing Christopher Wray as the new FBI Director in 2017. Wray remained in office through the end of Trump's term, earning some respect for his willingness to defend the nation's law enforcement agencies from Trump's attacks.

After Trump left office, he was indicted in federal court for stealing classified documents and fomenting a coup. The FBI was involved in investigating both sets of crimes and, among other things, executed search warrants on Mar-a-Lago, where Trump had stashed those boxes of stolen government documents.

Trump was infuriated by Wray's "disloyalty" in refusing to obstruct those investigations, and promised to replace him if re-elected. Today, after Wray's announcement that he would resign rather than be fired, Trump was gleeful, saying that "today is a great day for America as it will end the Weaponization of what has become known as the United States Department of Injustice." 

Trump plans to replace Wray with another director he hopes will be personally loyal to him—and he may get it this time. Kash Patel is an election denier who has mimicked Trump's language about the supposed "deep state" conspiracy against him and—again parroting Trump—threatened to jail journalists.

Why does this matter?

• It is under no circumstances whatsoever appropriate for a president to demand a pledge of personal loyalty from the director of the FBI.

• Even now, nobody is above the law, but it's bad if Trump thinks he is and acts like it.

• Virtually all of the people Trump accuses of "weaponizing" politics against him are Republicans he appointed.